even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Randomize
