If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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