Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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