please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
