you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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