I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
