I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
