his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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