I seem to have left my pride at pride
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
