My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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