i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
