I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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