Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
