Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
