Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
