were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
