love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
