I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
