dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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