Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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