Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
