But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
