Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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