The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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