guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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