Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
