everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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