As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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