Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
