Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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