just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
