I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
