I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
