Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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