Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
