He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
