You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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