found the other keg... it's in the tree
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
