I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
