I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
