Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Randomize
