she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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