i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
