I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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