I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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