sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
