i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
