He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
how drunk are you?
Several
I wear drunk well.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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