There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
