I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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